Wednesday, February 4th, 2009

In the words of myself "Pooooooky".

Wait wha?

So. Welcome to my online journal. My name is Melody, and I will be your tour guide throughout my mind. I don't actually plan for anyone to see or read this in any significant way. Instead, this diary of my daily accounts will be used for future referentials of myself, to both determine my mental, emotional, and physical state of being, and how over time, I have changed.

Also, it will be used to keeping track of various things I need to remind myself, names, important figures, so on, so forth. A lot of this will be repetitive, saying thing I've mentioned a thousand times before. Oh well. Furthermore, this will be a simultaneous journal, as the days events pass, or as close to them as I can get, keeping it fresh in my mind for perpetual archiving. So what you read at the beginning of any day, and at the end, will be substantially different. (Hint: The end will be longer. Lot's o edits)

This journal is private. But you are more than welcome to read it. Just realize, this is what goes on in my head. If you don't agree, or find it acceptable. I don't care. *smiles*

Welcome to my world.

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Wednesday, February 4th, 2008 3PM

I woke up at 7AM, a tad bit earlier than usual. As is typical of my waking up, the first thing I did was trod along to the computer, where I saw mommy. Yay. We talked for a moment, and I ordered one crimson red bedroom, then she kicked me off to go back to bed. Of which my body vehemently refused to do. So I got up again, a few minutes later, popped a pill and watched the daily ant incursion of my kitchen.

One day they will all die. One by one. Until then, my time in the kitchen is limited. Talked to mommy some more, and Will got ready and left for work. Dealt with the standard affair of barrage of various people. Wanted to get programming done, but haven't done anything yet. I'm so lazy. But I did get this blog up. So yay.

Typical affair of emotional stay, up and downs all day today. Lots of personal grunting. Need to shower, but bah. See. Right there. That bah. That's the grunting. It's almost like a resignation to do things I don't wish to do and am vochal about it. Why am I vochal about it now? I don't know.

For breakfast, I had two slices of pepperonni pizza around 10-11AM. I haven't taken my hormones yet even though I'm supposed to at breakfast. Haven't moisturized my feet or put the meds on my legs. Bah.

Flesh colored guass doesn't look very fleshy.

Anyways, that's it for my first post today. I assume more will come as I get done with it.

Ciao.

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QuickEdit 3:15PM :

I don't trust blogs that only have one or two blog posts. Especially if they are far inbetween. I don't know why, but it just gives me this feeling of extreme unkeep. Like, they started something and never finished it.

By the by, a lot of my posts will be almost twitter-like, just random things. No worries.

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QuickEdit 2: Time flows by slowly, 4PM
Keeping an extremely-long post per day, for a blog, probably isn't exceptionally easy concerning the busy days.

Someone wants me to do a charity event for Project Children, a charity that helps irish children. Not sure if I want to go through with the hassle of it or not, but I probably will, cause pulling my emotional strings is way too easy.

So far, the day has been kinda meh. Not overly great, but not bad either.

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Update: 440PM
Auggh. Experiencing formication. Feels like bunches of ants are crawling on me. Eww.
Going to take meds.

Took Meds. Put pandora on, Mommy IMed me, getting ready to program.

When I need to concentrate on doing something logical, or repetitive, such as programming (falling into both categories), it is much easier if I listen to music. It seems to drown out all my other thoughts, as long as people aren't bugging me. Which is good when I have music on hand....
Not so good when I don't.

Pandora. Use it. It's your fucking friend.

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SUCCESS! For those familiar with my UPG. Which is like. None. I have implemented a quick feedback command prototype.

For example. If you wanted a color to be red, you would type
Startc <1,0,0>
Then if you wanted it to be green, you would type
Startc <0,0,1>
But now, if you want it to be red, and then green, you can type
Startc <1,0,0>
<0,0,1>
And it'll work. So yay. Ten minutes of coding and I make a breakthrough.

Superawesome.

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6:32PM

Oh my god, I had the most intense headache while celebrating.

OWWW

Jesus.

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9:45PM

The boogie monster is going to attack me. AWWW yeah. Come on boogie monster.

So, I taught a class, which, in comparison to all classes, didn't quite meet my expectation of awesome. Still, I suppose it was alright. It would be the first real time a student has tried cheating. (Really, what for? I mean, it's not like it's mandatory to come to my classes.)

So I had to stifle what felt like immense anger, at someone who didn't deserve it. Which seems a recurring theme lately in the past few days. I should probably get my hormones checked, and see what's going on. Anyways, afterwards, the standard depression sat in for a while. But I'm better now.

Me and Will ordered pizza from a new place, we'll see how it goes. Damn. My stomache is like craving the hunger. I can feel the pains. But I'm not particularly hungry. Hmm.

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