Addendum of the Logical Kayla

This is an addendum to the previous post here: http://melodykpgrace.blogspot.com/2009/03/melody-and-kayla.html

So... today I read an interesting article. The article was about masks, and how people wear masks to hide their true selves. Now, these aren't simply masks that one dons at Halloween, although one does don masks at Halloween. Instead, they are social masks.

Social Masks? What?

A social mask is doing anything in which another may blame the mask for your actions instead of yourself. Getting drunk? Social mask. Getting high? Social mask. These allow you, to be yourself without taking all the blame for being yourself. Instead of others blaming you for hugging them, they blame your beer or your weed or whatever.

Why do we don social masks?

Quite honestly, most people are afraid of being hurt, and rightly so! Lots of people get hurt by showing you their true selves, and after being hurt so much, they just don't want to be hurt anymore. They want to be themselves, but they don't want the consequences and pain associated with being themselves.

They put on a mask.

Once they have a mask on, they can be whoever they want. They can do anything they want and it's blamed on the mask. Social masks can be anything too! They can be Second Life, or World of Warcraft, or Roleplaying games. People want to envision themselves as being good and awesome and fantastic. But without the pain and repercussions that are associated with being that.

So what does this have to do with anything?

Well, quite simply... Kayla... The logical me, the adult me, the me that tries to solve everyone's problems when I don't even have the resources, and takes up all of their stress when I'm about ready to explode, the same Kayla writing this article.

She's a mask.

You know the person that helps you. The person that converses intelligently with you. The person that makes you trust me. The person that makes you think I know it all, and everything you tell me is perfectly safe. That person...

She's fake.

Okay. Maybe not fake in the sense that she's imaginary, she's not. Kayla is as real as any of you. But she's just a way for Melody to protect herself when big bad things happen. Kayla can rationalize nasty situations and the minds behind the nasty people. So she can forgive them when Melody couldn't. Case in point, this entire article is a way for Melody to express herself in a way that she really can't express herself.

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So what am I going to do about it?

I'm slowly, very slowly, taking the mask off.